A few years ago, I was going through a time in my life that I was deeply concerned about my heritage. For those of you that don't know this, and to remind those that do, I am adopted. I was placed for adoption at birth, and presented to my parents who had been on an adoption waiting list for 7 years. I really didn't ever have issues with this. My earliest memory dates back to when I was 2-years old sitting on my mother's lap as she was telling me that I was "a-d-o-p-t-e-d", which at that time, I had no idea what that word meant. I remember her going on to tell me that I didn't grow in her tummy, I grew in her heart.
After having children of my own and doing some family research with others about their history, I began to wonder about my own heritage. Everywhere I looked I was finding stories about adoption and families being re-united. I began to seek the Lord about what I should do. After a few weeks, I had a dream.
I dreamt I was in a huge open room, much like a gymnasium. There were people in a large circle all around the edge of this room. There were also people, like intercessors or elders, in the center of the room. The intercessors would walk around and people from the outside circle would go to them for prayer. I was standing in the outside circle, holding up this very frail, crippled woman. I remember wanting this woman to be prayed for, but no one was noticing us and she could hardly walk. Finally, an intercessor looked our way but did not come too close. The intercessor held out her hand for the crippled woman to walk toward her. I remember not wanting to let this poor woman go, but, with everything I had within me, I did let go. The moment I did release her, she was instantly healed and continued walking upright toward the intercessor.
Right after this, my vision went black and I saw what looked like a typed article. There were words highlighted and my view of these words zoomed in and became very clear, "3 siblings; 2 brothers and one sister." I then heard a loud voice "Now you know your heritage, but, WHO ARE YOU IN CHRIST?"
Since that dream, many years ago, God has taught me a great deal about my identity. First and foremost, I am a child of God (1 John 3:1), I am the apple of his eye (Ps. 17:8), I am a daughter (Romans 8:15). I have access to His throne room ANYTIME (Eph. 2:18). When I call, He will answer (Psalm 17:6).
When we accept Jesus, we all receive a "Spirit of adoption". In Romans 8:15 it says: For [the Spirit which] you have now received [is] not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption [the Spirit producing sonship] in [the bliss of] which we cry, Abba (Father)! Father! This is GOOD NEWS! God loves us SO MUCH!!
Ironically, I believe in my dream, the crippled woman was me, also the person holding up the crippled woman was me. I was healed, but first, in order to receive, I had to "let go"; let go of my own selfish desires, let go of my own ambitions, and let go of myself. In other words, I had to die. It's one thing to know your identity, it's another thing to walk in it. In order for me to totally surrender to the Lord, death is required.
It is my prayer today that we all would die, die to ourselves, die to our own plans and agendas. Only then, can we truly "live for Him!!!"
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