In going through some files on my computer, I came across the following letter I wrote to a dear friend (I have changed his name to "T" for privacy). I met this man and his wife through Teen Challenge. I will never forget the experience and the impact this couple made on my life. I am grateful. I wrote to this man as he came back to the program after leaving to tend to his wife's death.
In re-reading this today, it has stoked the fire of my calling (Isaiah 61). God never ceases to amaze me with confirmation. Even now, as I am dealing with a similar situation, God is faithful to encourage me.
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June 12, 2008
To My Dear Friend 'T':
If you receive this letter, you will have made the journey back to the center. For that reason alone, our God is so proud of you.
First and foremost, I wish to offer my sincerest condolences to you and your family regarding K’s passing. I cannot imagine what you are walking through; my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Second, I wish to share a “thank you tribute,” for being a catalyst used to shape my life into what God continues to build in me today. Please allow me opportunity to explain.
I remember in the summer of 2006 when Jay was a student at Teen Challenge and he shared with me about the experience of God calling him into the ministry. I remember him talking about being in a small church in the middle of Des Moines. There were drug addicts, prostitutes, and homeless people just walking in off the street. Jay shared with me that these were the type of people the Lord was calling us to help.
I remember struggling greatly with that idea. You see, I would describe my upbringing as being raised in a “bubble.” I knew nothing of the addiction of drugs/alcohol, and truthfully, I liked it that way. As Jay shared the vision about what the Lord was calling us into, I really began to wrestle with the revelation. Don’t get me wrong, I agreed with God’s calling of Jay and I pastoring a church, but MY vision was Jay and I pastoring a church of “pretty people;” people who dressed nice; people with pretty teeth and well behaved children. People who looked much like the “bubble world” in which I grew up in. However . . .
the Lord had plans for me, plans to prosper me and plans to bring me hope and a future – Jer. 29:11
It was soon after this time that we attended a Teen Challenge Wives Weekend. I remember being blessed by being treated to dinner at the Pizza Shoppe in Pella. Jay and I sat at a table with you and K. I remember you both sharing with us what your past lives were like. I remember crying uncontrollably and having to get up from our table many times to go into the restroom to try and compose myself. The stories both of you shared honestly broke my heart because I had no idea people really lived this way. It was there, in that small pizza shop, that the Lord began to shift my paradigm. The Lord continued to speak to me throughout the drive back to the center, and the campfire later that night. It was during this campfire that I surrendered my will to His.
. . . not my will but Yours be done . . . – Luke 22:42
Our God is such a gentleman. He doesn’t force himself on anyone. He gives each of us the freedom to choose which path we are going to take. It was during the campfire that night that I burned my “innocence” before the Lord as a fragrant offering. I believe the Lord honored my obedience.
Since that weekend about a year and a half ago, the Lord continues to allow me His eyes to see hurting people. Just this past Easter, our church in St. Joseph launched the opening of a second campus called “The LifeHouse.” The LifeHouse is a 24-hour prayer room and a center for social justice located in the heart of a not-so-great part of our town. People who would never step foot into a “church” are flocking to this place for ministry; drug dealers, homeless, prostitutes, addicts, and widows. These people do not fit the “pretty church” lifestyle I envisioned, but God’s plan continues, for them, and for me.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I am able to minister to people in ways I never imagined. One lady, in-particular, had just been beat up by her boyfriend. Through tear filled eyes she fell into my arms, and with lice infested hair we wept together. Her snot mixed with mine as God met with us and wrapped us in a warm blanket of His love. Had my paradigm never shifted, had my heart never been broken for hurting people who did not fit into my mold, I would have missed this opportunity. I trust God would have found another vessel to use, but I am the one who would have missed out on the blessing of being used.
T, I share all of this with you to encourage you. I believe that God uses all things! Even though currently, my life isn’t what I envisioned it to be, I continue to trust God with all of it. I have learned that TRUE freedom comes when you believe God has anointed you to set the captive free, and then you realize that YOU are the prisoner!! WOW, His promises are as much for me as they are for others.
Personally, I will never forget what the Lord taught me through you and K. Thank you for being obedient and unashamed to show your scars! I just wanted to tell you, once again, how much I respect you and K and hold you both in the highest regard. In closing, I am reminded that Jesus wore scars on His body to share of His testimony (although He could have healed them, I mean, He is Jesus). It is my prayer that I will wear my scars with the same dignity as you, K and Jesus, so that He may continue to use me as a testimony to others. I thank you for sharing your experiences with me.
God Bless You during this transition time in your life!! Peace, Peace, Peace to you, my brother.
Sincerely,
T, I don't know where you are today, but I pray for you right now. Thank you for sharing your scars, allowing God to use you, and ministring to a 'pretty teethed' girl like me. You helped prepare me for today and I thank you. God Bless You!
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